The greatest wall is bigger than China's

Has this happen to you: You're with a friend of yours. You know you can tell this friend anything in the world and they wouldn't think any less of you. This friend asks you deep things about your life and you just couldn't tell them. You wanted so badly to let them know the deeper, more meaningful things of what's going on in your life, but you just couldn't form the words. You were practically screaming it as loud as you could inside thinking that maybe they might be able to hear it some how, but also knowing that they couldn't. This has happened to me a few times over the past week with a couple different friends of mine. I believe that the walls I have built up, especially recently, have taken their toll on my friendships and relationships because I distant myself from people. As a friend of mine put it to me recently "Debi, you're like Fort Knox". I appreciated that comment and took it to heart, that yes, I, like my bed of pillows, am like Fort Knox except my interntal walls are made of titanium. But why do we have these walls? What in your life has caused you to hide, or protect yourself, and from what are you trying to protect yourself from? Even with a friend who means something greatly to you and you trust with your life, you still find cause to hold up the wall and defend it with everything you have. Is there a way for these walls to come down? Yes there is, but you have to make the choice to lower the draw bridge. There are risks doing this though. Are you willing to take the risks? I don't know if I am truely ready for that kind of wall breaking again. I do know and understand the pain that can be caused by letting people through those walls and I'm not sure I want to feel that again any time soon. So I appologize now for anything that I say or not say about me, and say thank you for being patient with me. Maybe someday, sometime, somewhere, with someone I will.