Silence is loud

So there are times when you want to think and you just can't. There are also those times when you think too much and can't put the thoughts and images in your head into literate English. I think I'm in both these days.

As I sit in a room with friends or family I find myself thinking I have nothing to say and then thinking that I want to say everything, but I remain silent. I sit and listen and watch everyone else. I keep to myself. But then I realized that no, this isn't anything new.

Silent All These Years by Tori Amos:

Excuse me but can I be you for a while
My dog wont bite if you sit real still
I got the anti-christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again
Yeah I can hear that

Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know but nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me- you never shut up
Yeah I can hear that

But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I dont care cause sometimes, I said sometimes
I hear my voice and its been years
Silent all these years

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
Whats so amazing about really deep thoughts
Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon
Hows that thought for ya

My scream got lost in a paper cut
You think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
I got 25 bucks and a cracker, do you think its enough
To get us there

Cause what if Im a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I dont care cause sometimes, I said sometimes
I hear my voice and its been years
Silent all these years

Years go by will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by and I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange cloud raining in my head
Years go by and I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left
One more casualty
You know were too easy, easy, easy

Well I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now but baby dont look up
The sky is falling

Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
Its your turn now to stand where I stand
Everybody lookin' at you, take a hold of my hand
Yeah I can hear them

But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I dont care cause sometimes, I said sometimes
I hear my voice
I hear my voice
I hear my voice
And its been here
Silent all these years
I've been here
Silent all these years